Running Red Momma

Maybe you are just sitting there wondering what is that house doing?  Well, here is your chance to say nope I would never do that or, hmmm that looks like a lot of fun. A mess of years of wiring and junk Old houses have old wiring?  Yes they do!  We were told it was pretty good.  It wasn't.  We (not me, but people I know)  have pulled and reinstalled wire.   That is part of the mess from the adventure.  The utility box has been moved downstairs as well. Basement framed and new plumbing! oooh shiny new duct work--only exciting if you live in a 100 year-old house Yes, the downstairs you wonder.  That giant dirt mess , has allowed us access to do all sorts of great stuff.  We do have four walls now.  We also have a floor.  That happened a month ago.  It also gave us the ability to update plumbing and duct work.  We had no vents under windows, which made all sorts of cold spots.  Of course, ...

I finally faced my fears and got a mammogram.  I believe in being proactive about health. However, I feared the pain of the test.  I walked in and was shown my gown and locker for the exam.  Minutes later, I was ready to show the girls.  There is no uncomfortableness with the disrobing.  Instead,  I faced the steel and glass machine and thought, "I fear you more than a dentist's drill."  My fears were actually truth based.  The attendant efficiently grabbed my breast and began smashing/pressing my breast trying to get enough tissue to fit in the machine.  I thought, this would be a good time to have a nice rack.  Instead, she mashed and squeezed them with the machine (COLD, COLD!).   Phewww,  I thought I was done until required to do another angle.  It was over quickly.  I looked down to see red lines engraved from SHOULDER to MID-CHEST!  I was an x-man for breast health.   So,  go face your f...

I had been getting a sense it was time for the THE TALK with my daughter. I wanted it to be super natural and normal. So, we cozied up on the outside couch and I just went straight to it. I presented it as a simple science update. Yet, I tried to keep it basic. First question, "Ugg, does the man pee on you?" Me, "No, unless you think that is awesome!" Just kidding... I just explained a few more details. She was disheartened by the fact her body will change. She likes it the way it is. This launched me into my lecture of we are all changing ALL the time and we can't stop it. I wanted her to not feel alone. So, it trickled to the everyones' body changes constantly why didn't anyone warn me talk. The puberty, growing, adult, pregnant, after-pregnant and getting older changes were listed. Suddenly, my oldest became animated. You mean that is why your eye-balls are going into your sockets? That is why your cheeks look sharp and bony? And th...

I was sitting with my kids at the swing set reflecting upon the day. Today, homework did not take two and half hours to do. My son got to it right away. Actually, after meeting quickly with a teacher, I came home to both kids bent over their homework. The house was semi-clean and I felt semi-on-top-of-it. I thought, "how would I feel if it were like this every day? Imagine the glory, peace and organization my life would be!" I closed my eyes and smiled at the image. Suddenly, my rational self knocked on the dream. You wouldn't know that it was wonderful if that is all you knew. How would I know how miserable homework, mud, yelling, begging to concentrate, get up, pack your lunch, get your uniform/leotard, clean your room, empty the dishwasher, stop yelling, start sharing, that is a warning, sit down could be? I was delighting in the day because of the very opposite nature of most of my daily pursuits. I love and enjoy my active children. Yet, in my perfect ...

I loved school when I was young. I would lay out my clothes the night before the first day and waited for the sun. Admittedly, it may have been excitement to wear new clothes. But, I really do love school. As I pursued my masters, I discovered such rich/innovative teaching for topics in math and reading. I couldn't wait for my daughter to come home with stories of joyful learning, growth and accomplishment. She is bright with a bubbly sense of humor. I imagined all the journeys she would take and I became thrilled for her. She is now in 5th grade. Together we have killed a forest with all of her worksheets. She rarely has learning centers or process driven experiences. She rarely discusses or learns about the joy of learning. Instead, she takes tests, fills out mind-numbing worksheets and gets percentage points stamped on her homework. She continues to try because she trusts me. I tell her school is awesome, but her favorite time is lunch. She cries over her math. ...

We have been doing a much bigger remodel than even I thought. Our basement basically sits on steel poles as we re-do the foundation. I have really enjoyed the dirt pile/ramp for the whole summer. We even killed a rat. The kids have enjoyed king of the mountain. Not only did we want to dig the back, I really wanted to tear the front lawn out, shut down the street, sidewalk and dig out the sewer. I wouldn't call it project creep. It is more like project run-away. Old houses have to LOVE them. One morning I knew it was running away from me when we had at least four trucks in the FRONT of our house. Helpful to remember that ,originally, we were just doing the back. We went backpacking just to say we could. The kids "hiked" in a mile. But, they did carry their belongings. It was amazing how heavy packs were even for just an overnight hike. It was beautiful and full of mosquitoes. You could drink them while walking! My little girl did not connec...

I love my husband....so, I accompanied him to his twenty year high school reunion. We attended the picnic and fancy hotel dinner. I smiled, I looked people in the eye and repeated their name, I said nice to meet you and I tried to "work the room". But, really who wants to work the room with someone you don't know? I tried to be mellow and have low expectations. The food was yummy and conversation was doable. Near the end some guy got up and started introducing everyone at the tables. Uhhh, the whole room. I went to the bathroom. When I returned, the intros were done. We had moved to some quick speeches. Thereafter, it was to be a night of crazy dancing and talking. As all people know there are married people rules. When I touch your arm, SAVE ME for Pete's sake. Rescue me from funky strangers or boredom. This can be tricky. I had invented a variety of conversation points, but my energy was ebbing. I had run through all of my instant "I don't kno...

What about our new move? So, far I have been charmed by the changes. Each time I go running, I try a different route and enjoy the gardens and unique houses. The restaurants are yummy. We went here the other night and I have all sorts of ideas for my next outing. We have a charming local bookstore where we can browse and chat. There is a different flavor to this place than our previous neighborhood. I think it funny that you can move within the same larger geographic location and still feel changes. For example, our next door neighbor's dog is called Gustav. Another dog up the street is named after a composer. A girl my daughter's age is named from Greek mythology. Instead of driving, many take the bus or bike to work. I like the idea of community I feel on my street. We had a fourth of July block party--I hadn't seen block parties since I was a kid. Along with the sense of community, one does pay a price for it. My usual wandering around in the buff loo...

So much for finishing my round up of Europe. Maybe I should sum up like this: we saw Paris, we survived the subway, we saw art in famous places (the kids were kind enough to walk around for 45 minutes) and we made the whole flight. When the flight ended, I looked in shock at my husband. We made it, we made it. That trip hardly sucked at all. The trip was made possible by the following: frequent flyer miles, my good friend Julie from NE now in Switzerland, my brother and his wife in Munich, my Mom, Legos, Sherpa backpacks, pea pod baby beds, Keen shoes for kids, REI convertible pants, county library for research, games, my pretty pony and a variety of books found in local stores near you. My daughter now describes Paris to friends: It isn't that great...besides the Arc d'Triumph or the Eiffel Tower. She does have a pair of real French panties, which I think counts for some kind of fun. What about the last month? We are so sophisticated we have been making our own...

I was so lucky to have Mom along, to show her my favorite places and have another hand. We got to see places where I worked so hard as a missionary--pretty emotional for me. If you wonder if it was all sunshine and love, nope, there were days where a kid "had enough!" We could have a separate entry of how cute is this kid splashing by something famous. We ate ice cream under here, most seemed charmed by the 18-month-old mess. This was our roughest transfer point to Paris. Celebrating our save arrival with the TGV. Wheew! We could have photo books, how IJ will not pose or how the GAB will not look into the camera upon demand. (Yet she posed often for Indian families....) Can the air smell like chocolate? Can Roger Federer have a tennis racket from chocolate? Can it cost $100? Yes, in Switzerland. Yeah, it was that amazing. Cue music. In an 800 year old castle, one does need to use the latrine over a lake and ponder the poem Lord Byron wrote here: The Prisoner of Chillion. B...

1. I wiped my little boys face with my spit finger--yes it is gross and you all do it. A French man, on the train, kindly offered a baby wipe. (What kind of mother wipes a kid's face with her spit?!! Sacre Bleu! What an American Faux Pas.) 2. While in Italy, we wore our enormous REI sun hats. Yes, we looked ridiculous-but I like my skin the way it is. A Russian staying in our B&B smiled and replied, "love your sombreros." 3. Our youngest, chubby, blonde toddler became a sort of phenomenon. Indian tourists took pictures of him instead of the site. While on the train, a family moved closer and proceeded to pinch his cheeks (gently) and rub his hair and face. Good luck? 4. While in Italy, I did as the Romans do, I used a bidet...which they probably didn't do. After a hot day of wandering, a bidet is the thing to do. 5. My intense little four-year-old, who gets overwhelmed by change and new experiences blocked the entire escalator by spreading her arms/legs ...

Our first big train ride. Our crap sits in a big pile. The view from our vacation house! Where have we been? First note to those who take kids on international trips: plan it, cut it in half and slim it again--you will be just right. We saw far less of Munich than I planned. However, our kids had a great time with their German cousins. The best time we had was playing rock band. Some of them looked ready to go on tour. Our first international train ride became a good test of our packing and grouping skills. I did insist on a direct train to Switzerland. Yet, it was still a challenge to get all together on a train. As we rounded the lake where I lived 20 years ago, I felt a little emotional. It was just plain pretty to the family. We were picked up in a small town by a typical swiss-farm house frau. Of course, it required two cars. Her husband, Ernst, picked us up in a stinky cow car with no seat belts. It did have bungee cords....Jam kept looking at me as the rain came throug...

I am hesitant to write a journal entry for our trip. Doesn't it seem like ha, I'm in Europe! ? But, it is such great format to journal quick thoughts. The flight was much less painful than I expected. Of course I had scenes where someone asked my daughter to stop kicking her seat, yes my kids fought on the plane, yes we had some crying and yes my youngest screamed randomly for fun. But, really, it was much better than I imagined. However, we were heading into the night. The direct day flight home will be BAD. The kids handled the loss of sleep better than I thought. We arrived to my brother's family. Such a nice transition. All of the cousins were welcoming. Instead of funky place where they didn't feel comfortable, the kids had friends and toys. We did wander Munich the next day. We kept it simple. Of course, we had lunch at a bier garten. I ordered some dishes, with the typical not super friendly german. He asked if I ordered 7 things, I said yes. Ho...

A year ago, we realized we had enough frequent flier miles to go to Germany to see my brother and visit Switzerland. Well, it is late, the kids are asleep and I am almost done packing. We take off in a few hours for Germany. Why did we do it? We could. We had the miles. My mom is coming. I am so excited to show her my favorite places of Switzerland. I want my children to get a sense of the mission I served. We had the time and opportunity. While we are gone, they are going to work on the foundation of our old/new house. It's like we almost planned the whole thing :) An 18-month-old on a flight? Hmmm...wish me luck or drugs. All my kids in their great, messy, loud glory? Watch out Paris! Basically, I am count-down-for-the-last-six-months excited. I have read endless books and thought about this way too much. It got me through long nights and mundane days. Here's too my dreams sort of matching to reality. If I get the time, I will post up-dates!

Our move update: Our new kitchen looks like the above. I ran out of space, so cloths/towels are on the counter and some cooking tools sit on top. I'm still trying to make it look more organized and pleasant. This is the bathroom we all share. My four-year-old stated it simply: it is old and rusty-- I don't like moving. However, there is only one toilet to clean and one place to put toothbrushes. I must say I would prefer to clean the bathtub without it flaking off on my cloth. We do get the most perfect porch anyone could want. It makes me want to put on a long, gauzy dress and sip mint juleps. The stained glass is just lovely. I'm trying to think of what color to paint the walls to set them off. I am a little daunted by the many coats of paint in a 100-year-old house...... Clearly we are "in the house!". As in, the belongings we have are in our new house. It took three twelve-hour days of unpacking stacks of boxes to find the most basic of items like hairbrus...

I have been stuck in a speed trap of life changes. The last few months have brought big and small alterations to our family. At the end, we decided to make a major life switch. I'm still not sure how it will all be for us. We have decided to leave suburbia, sell our house and move in a smaller more downtownish location. These pictures mark some of the most significant changes in our house. If you are interested in the major changes we made to the kitchen, I can post those later. After we painted, remodeled and sewed, we finally made the house feel just like it was ours. I loved the act of creation. It has now sold and we won't live here next month. At times, I wonder how I would want to move right after we did so much work. On the other hand, I think we have lots of exciting challenges ahead of us. The downside:we lose 1200 SF, three-car garage, gorgeous backyard and good neighbors, the new house is 100 years old and my husband cannot walk standing up in the house. The u...

Do you remember that sick feeling when you really left home for the first time? For some of you, maybe leaving was wonderful, but for me, it made me so sad I got sick. My first few nights away at college, I could barely eat I missed my family so much. Today, during random moments, I have had vivid memories of my first months away from my family or horrible break-ups which are far in the past. It seemed strange to keep having those thoughts during an average day.When I started to do the dishes tonight, I looked over the backyards I share with my neighbor. I looked for the familiar blond heads playing on the swings/slide/basketball court we share. It was all quiet. Oh yeah, they moved today. We even helped them do it. Suddenly, it was all clear why my insides were as worked-up and twisted as when I was eighteen and missing my mom. That knotted feeling represents seven years of open doors, shared children and borrowed cooking ingredients. On the outside, you might not pair us...

I have never been a big fan of Two and a half men. I find the show tasteless. Much of reality tv has a sameness to it I do not find interesting. I despaired after reading this take on current ( contains not nice words ) culture . So, now we are in the post-Empire world. As bleak as I felt post-modernism was/is, I was downhearted to read what WE want. According to this article, we want raw, unapologetic "artists". It goes on to describe how Eminem has courage to talk about wanting to kill his wife, while Bruce Springsteen is so Empire. I'm wondering what this says about how we process emotional struggles. Am I to understand that real people are beautifully open when they are violent, dishonest and dismissive of most others? Am I to accept that today's "culture" is really the TRUTH? Instead, I think we are in an age of artificially pumped up anger, violence and sexuality. Everyone seems to be searching for their ten seconds of fame...usually throug...

I have been volunteering in my son's room at school. Years ago, I was dismissive of elementary teachers. I did not think that type of work would be enjoyable or demanding. However, my work required me to supervise and observe elementary teachers. Thereafter, I quickly learned how much an elementary teacher needed to know. I realized that these teachers had to be aware of multiple topics and disciplines. It switched to a realization that it was an incredibly difficult job. Once I had my own children in school, I started volunteering. There, I discovered the power of a young learner. Every child wants success and opportunity. I was accustomed to either blank, bitter stares of students taking pre-algebra for the fourth time or to kids thinking "what hoop is it this time?" Instead, I saw smiles, hope and interest. It was amazing. I wondered how I had never known of this world before. My son's teacher is kind enough I get to teach the class for 20 minutes so...

I've been doing the same-old kind of thing which many moms do. Laundry, carpool, ballet, piano, homework, cooking and paying the bills. My hip has been so sore, I now I have not run for over six months. My usual outlets have been removed. It has been difficult to replace that relaxation I crave. Two months ago, I signed up for a local German class. It has been so much fun. I am relearning things I thought I had forgotten. While doing ordinary household jobs, an old phrase will just pop in my head. I come home from class and feel almost as relaxed as I did from running. I have learned some things from this experience. First, one can relax even taking a class. I think I find this relaxing because I am exercising something. Clearly, I am not used to using my brain anymore because I found it to be so much fun. Secondly, I can only handle one additional thing in my life. It is not the time to get accredited in something. I am only able to do the homework for this cla...

A set of bits and bobs in my head: I feel like the last ten years of music has been abysmal. I know that one tends to think their era of music was the best. I do find eminem has powerful rage. I'm just not THERE anymore. However, I wondered if we couldn't find anything more creative than Nickelback. Really everything seems like a painful retread from the 90s. It was like a desert of creativity. I just found something that parched my thirst for more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KkUeRPjc-Y . Who are they? (Mumford and Sons!) It was fun, energetic and DIFFERENT. I'm sure this group is not new for many of you. It was just joyful for me. It makes me want to hop. My hip has been injured and sore since September. I have not run since the start of fall. Some funny things: I weigh less and I am beginning to resent those who run. Instead of rejoicing for their ability and committment, I "grrr" in my heart. I have had a cortisone shot and physical therapy. It still aches...

My daughter is growing old before my eyes. I know that how I handle the next few years will determine how well she lets me in as she becomes older. So, I am really trying to be present for all of the day-to-day conversations we have. We journeyed from Zach to Justin. I watched all the High School Musicals. Now, I listen to the lyrics of Justin. As we cleaned out the havoc of her closet, my daughter explained her favorite scene in the new Justin Bieber movie. I guess he does some kind slow-mo hair move in it. She kept replaying how funny/cute it was. Fifteen minutes later, she acted it out for me. I sat there staring at her---keeping my eyes very open and focused. If I screwed up this moment of sharing now, I would not be let in for the deeper things as she gets older. Oh the pain to not mock or tease. I squeezed my lips very tight and nodded. I chanted in my head, "listen now, get to listen later." We got the fever here. Well, one of us does.

My daughter is beginning to listen to current events a bit. She asked me what I thought of Sarah Palin. "She is a woman," she explained. As much as I want to be about female empowerment, I had to say, "Well, she doesn't show good judgement." My daughter paused, then replied, "Yeah, but she's pretty." Despite the marching and fist waving, it stills seems to come to that. I shot back, "So, what? That doesn't matter!" The conversation ended and I wasn't sure if anything had been gained. As much as I preach to my children looks don't matter, the world surely tells them differently. Politics, popularity and dating still seem to be very much about the outside. Ask Hiliary Clinton about her private feelings regarding her campaign. Even if one excluded her policies, her physical attractiveness was a part of public perception problems. I related the Palin discussion to my husband thinking he might shake his head. Laughing, ...

We all have body issues. I say that last sentence with confidence because we are all are presented computerized images telling us otherwise. Your issue may be large thighs, short legs or a super curvy behind. My present problem has been a doughy stomach which likes to spill over the tops of things. Yes, I know I'm not that big or over-weight. However, I don't know who to blame here. It is either being over-40 or having that fourth-kid-while- older-so-my-skin-forgot-to-stretch-back that has caused my present state. My stomach just likes to hang a bit over and look like a mini-sausage. Really, the problem is solved with clever attention getting belts and cozy sweaters. Tighter t-shirts? Meh--not so much. Yes, I could wear a looser t-shirt, but that would obscure my other diminutive assets which reside above. It is always a choice of which hides and which shines. Yet, shine may be a over-statement for me. However, I don't want to be defined by what society might th...