Have I gone soft???
Well, okay, my arms have always been soft. But, today while driving my two littlest ones, I was forced to examine my inner mojo. Knowing I had to make a turn, I began signaling three blocks ahead of the turn. For the life of me, I couldn't get in. So, I wondered if the driver hadn't realized I actually needed to switch lanes. I moved closer to the lane. Nope. I kept looking and trying, noticing the car carefully keeping pace to leave not quite enough room. Who does that, I thought? The car had no cars behind it. I gave the driver a "what-the-hey-look" in one last attempt to get in the lane. Yup, you guessed it, I got "the bird"; the long, skinny, finger of a bitter middle-aged man showing me who was boss. Ho-ho-ho. I felt so bad. It felt so mean. I started questioning my driving. Maybe, it would have been better if I had braked and blocked my WHOLE lane to get in after. Was I an idiot?
However, I have lived right by this intersection for five years. My driving hasn't altered. I had never had a problem like this before. Yet, I felt crummy. As I thought back on my teaching years, it struck me that when a 17-year-old screamed "You F-ing Ho!" to me, I was plain old mad. It happened more than once to me and I just got in their face. What has happened? Oy, is this a sign that suburbia has finally gotten to me? Am I middle-aged? Am I soft now? Have I become that spastic SUV with kids in tow? Have I lost my street cred or what? Or, did I just really deserve that tall white bird?
It's okay. Just tell me. Dude, you need driving lessons.
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