Running Red Momma

Yeah, you might be wondering how I did. I think some of the pictures say it well. " Please help me to live, please help me to live." See how excited I am? I know exactly what I am doing. Oh, the mayhem and craziness. I was kicked, hit, swum over by much greater beings. See how my BIL is running out of the water? My exit would be titled, "Thank you God! I have found the land!" I am so relieved to be finally running a race instead of biking or swimming. The swim was even tougher than I thought. No wonder swimmers look so bad. Those buoys never seem to get any closer. During the bike portion I was passed by crazy mechanical super athletes that whirred instead of making the usual bike noise. I really couldn't figure out how their $10,000 super bikes were passing my $149 Wal-mart special. (Those super-athletes were not super friendly either.) Anyhoo, the run felt good and I was able to pass people instead of erratically flailing about in open water. I had...

I decided I  had to do something I have thought about for years.  I am doing a triathlon this weekend.  Really, I am a fool. I am a terrible swimmer and I hate swimming in cold, pool water.  So, of course swimming in a filthy, freezing local lake is just what I want.  I rented a wet-suit to keep me warm in the waters.  After squeezing into that thing, I have a greater appreciation for all of the batman actors/evil villains  who must wear those crazy costumes daily.   I am also not an idiot, I have been biking/running/walking for about 6 weeks.  It will be an adventure.  I have enjoyed getting out of my normal routine...so far  from my normal life.   I looked up swim times for this local race from last year.  I'm pretty sure I am going to be backstroking with the sixty-year-olds.  All of it will be a good learning experience. I think it will be very good for me to be the last person in an event. I know, you may be wondering about the lunch deal.   J. came home and wondered why all...

For the last year my daughter and I have been locked in a battle over lunch.  I refuse to pack a lunch for a smart, capable elementary aged child.  When I do pack her lunch, I give her an extra job to do around the house. However, this has just given me more items to finish on my nag list.  So, I got an idea from my brother-in-law; pack a nasty lunch.  This morning I was almost gleeful to set my evil plans in motion. As I skipped to the fridge, I wondered what disgusting adult food I could give her.  I snuck out the creamy fruit parfait and chocolate brownie.  In their place, I put in a berry-fruit jello combination which she hates. I gave her a few cold, somewhat greasy twice-baked potatoes.  I ended it with some dry wheat bread and an apple.  The genius of this plan is so fun.  I am giving her food.  Hence, the school will not purchase a lunch for her.  I am not creating more nag items for my daughter. Instead, I am giving her the powerful example of action without words.  When I han...

I have been gone for a while. I was gone trying to live an alternative lifestyle. I live in a community where all of the homes seem to be clean and well decorated. The women are cute and crafts abound. So, I attempted to really clean my house for a week. I had guests coming and a desire to feel more together. Oh, I scrubbed, wiped, mopped, dusted, vacuumed and worked. I was so tired! I felt like all I did was battle every day. In this city, it seems as if many of the women have the just right house, hair, clothes and kids with perfect hair. I just get worn-out from it. I am not that girl. I will probably never find the time/desire to paint my house all cute. I will probably still have to fight the urge to kick it in my sweats. I don't think I am ever going to have each room with a theme or produce items which hang on my walls and declare my life beliefs. I don't really like crafts. I don't do my hair and I prefer my kids to dress themselves. This obviously p...

We have all been sick here, but we are trying to get our life back together.  My husband and I were having a dumb argument regarding "cooling the house techniques" a few days ago.  Think of it as Thermodynamics for the unlearned (me). J was observing us and commented, "Well, you should listen to Dad. Because he goes to work and you don't."  I sat there in stunned silence.  I had known the moment would come, I already had written a pre emptive journal entry to her. In that journal, I explain about my different feelings regarding women's roles,  my desires to work and be with my kids.  I  thought I had made the delicate balance between feminism pushes and my maternal pushes. However, it is in cursive .  Somehow, I thought the moment would come a little later.  Sure my husband lectured her; which he should have done.  It is just that it felt like a betrayal of what I thought I had set-up in my life.  I read. I discuss politics. I exercise.  I still sort of kno...

A few years ago, I helped supervise a youth car wash.  I remember an older gentleman from our neighborhood zooming up in his red sports car.  When he rolled down his window and I tried to answer his questions, I was amused by is determination to keep listening to his cranked up Styx even when he was having a hard time hearing me.  The "concept album" was dead, but it still gushed out in its glorious combination of guitars/synthesizer and over-the-top dramatic vocals.   Although his car was red and music was loud, it struck me as all very middle-aged.   I chuckled to myself that he was not aware of how the whole scene was playing out. Time has moved on and clearly I have aged as well.  As I drove my daughter home from ballet, I found one of my great "angry anthems".   Alanis Morissette, in all her fury had once brought great comfort to me after a break-up.  I would holler along with Alanis to  "You oughta know" while driving late at night. As I zoomed up th...

I am not a good person, ask anyone.  I do not possess inherent goodness.  According to Anne of Green Gables, I'm more like the person who could be wicked and isn't. I don't feel much different than any ordinary person who makes bad choices.   Perhaps,  I should explain. When I wake up in the morning, I don't sigh to myself and say, "hmmm, I need a beer or maybe I will fornicate."   However, I don't fear or shake from the concept of sin.  I just choose not to do it. Yet,  I can see how those foolish choices entice people.  Wouldn't it be a release to just say everything I thought or have some incredible anger tirade?  Or,  maybe it would be good to just be snide or openly jealous. You know,  think of any number of human desires and just give in to them.  For me, it is more about choices than desire.   That's what I mean, I fight the devil inside all the time.  The larger concepts of grand theft auto, drunkenness or immorality do stop me. Yet, once t...