Do You Really Want to Hurt Me

We have all been sick here, but we are trying to get our life back together.  My husband and I were having a dumb argument regarding "cooling the house techniques" a few days ago.  Think of it as Thermodynamics for the unlearned (me). J was observing us and commented, "Well, you should listen to Dad. Because he goes to work and you don't."  I sat there in stunned silence.  I had known the moment would come, I already had written a preemptive journal entry to her. In that journal, I explain about my different feelings regarding women's roles,  my desires to work and be with my kids.  I  thought I had made the delicate balance between feminism pushes and my maternal pushes. However, it is in cursive.  Somehow, I thought the moment would come a little later.  Sure my husband lectured her; which he should have done.  It is just that it felt like a betrayal of what I thought I had set-up in my life.  I read. I discuss politics. I exercise.  I still sort of know pop-culture.  I try to be funny. I belong to book clubs.  I tutor at home.  In short, I thought I was showing my daughter I still had a life and a brain.  I kind of felt slapped by the reality  of dammed if you do, dammed if you don't.   The really sad part is she didn't  change her mind even after he explained that I had the same years of school and better grades.   UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!