My Momma DIDN'T say there would be days like this...

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As a young child, I didn't see myself becoming more and more like my mom. She never warned me there would be days like that. You know how it is, you sit around and tease your mom for what she says or does. (Well, unless you are sensitive and kind; which I am not.) But then, life slaps with the reality of who you really are! My 3-year-old wouldn't go outside in the cold. I found this lazy and boring. I couldn't convince him until I realized had the power of Mom in me. I simply told him we are going outside. "Get your gloves and boots on!" What power I felt. When he questioned, I responded, "Because, I said so." I evoke that phrase often and then mentally shake my fist at the heavens for the transformation in my life.
As a teenager, I thought my mom was nuts to get up so early. Sleep was my God and mom was NOT a believer. She used to get up at some crazy hour of 5 am to study, exercise and have personal time. I never got it. A few weeks ago, I made an insane resolution to do a half-marathon benefit race for cancer. Oh and it is in a few months. And it is winter. Because of the cold and schedules with children, guess what time I'm getting up? Yeah, 5 in the morning. Okay, so I push it to 5:15 and I've been crying all two days I have been doing it. But, I actually ran, did some reading and had thoughtful-five-minutes-alone time. It made it worth it.....I think. Ask me if I'm sticking to it a few weeks from now.

Comments

Joanna said…
I think I am less forgiving of my mom's weaknesses when I start to see them in myself - does that make sense? It's like if I can be hard enough on her, then I will beat that tendency out of myself. What kind of horrible child am I? Why do my mom and I have the best relationship when we are a couple of states away and talk periodically on the phone? Jen and I would discuss mother/daughter relationships, and I always have felt like a horrible child for not being kinder. How can I beat this critical tendency out of myself? I don't know, but I do know that living at home has been probably just as hard on my mom as it has been on me. Haha. Anyway, I appreciate that you use the "because I said so" because it's something we all swear that we will never say to our children...until reality sets in, eh?
January 10, 2008 at 1:17 PM
Katydid said…
Well, you know my history with my mom hasn't always been great. But after a long semester at school or a bad break-up, I still needed that place to go home and be safe. When my mom was in China, I didn't have a place to call on a bad day or just when I had dumb questions about laundry, kids or cooking. I realized I really need an older generation for wisdom, safety and connection; specifically my mom. I really missed her. It was one of my happier "a-has" I have had. (It has also helped me tremendously to have kids. Anyone can go crazy doing that :) If you read this mom, I love you.
January 11, 2008 at 12:42 PM
Laurie said…
Whenever I find myself "acting like my mother" my first instict is to call my older sister to commiserate. I hate it! The funny thing is, I genuinely like my mom and I think she is an amazing woman. I wonder why I don't ever think, "I'm acting JUST like my mother" when I do something good that she instilled in me. I don't usually give her credit for the good things, but I'm quit to notice the "bad" things.
January 11, 2008 at 3:17 PM
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