Do You Really Want to Hurt Me

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We have all been sick here, but we are trying to get our life back together.  My husband and I were having a dumb argument regarding "cooling the house techniques" a few days ago.  Think of it as Thermodynamics for the unlearned (me). J was observing us and commented, "Well, you should listen to Dad. Because he goes to work and you don't."  I sat there in stunned silence.  I had known the moment would come, I already had written a preemptive journal entry to her. In that journal, I explain about my different feelings regarding women's roles,  my desires to work and be with my kids.  I  thought I had made the delicate balance between feminism pushes and my maternal pushes. However, it is in cursive.  Somehow, I thought the moment would come a little later.  Sure my husband lectured her; which he should have done.  It is just that it felt like a betrayal of what I thought I had set-up in my life.  I read. I discuss politics. I exercise.  I still sort of know pop-culture.  I try to be funny. I belong to book clubs.  I tutor at home.  In short, I thought I was showing my daughter I still had a life and a brain.  I kind of felt slapped by the reality  of dammed if you do, dammed if you don't.   The really sad part is she didn't  change her mind even after he explained that I had the same years of school and better grades.   UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!  

Comments

Julie said…
Yes some days are like that Kate. You are still doing what is most important for your kids.
May 25, 2008 at 5:10 PM
Laurie said…
Since I don't have kids, I can't exactly relate, but coming from a home where my mom worked, I wish she hadn't. I would have liked having her home. When I was in middle school my mom stayed home for two years. By then, I resented not being able to do whatever I wanted until she got home for work, but now, looking back, I wish she had been home all along. I've learned about worklife on my own without any help from mom.

Being home with kids is more important now than ever. Each year of teaching I see more and more what having two parents who work longer and longer hours does to kids.
May 27, 2008 at 8:55 AM
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