To the dude
Dear Desperate, Sad Dude,
You must have been trapped to take my purse. Frankly, I can see the lure of using my checkbook to write bogus checks to Maverik. But did you stop to notice the life story in my purse? Let me tell you. I had a passport that finally contained a fabulous picture of me in it. I had to wait ten embarrassing years to stop showing those enormous bangs from the 80s. I actually looked radiant and you took it. It also contained a visa from a once-in-a-lifetime family trip to China. That visa was sentimental to me and is irreplaceable. Sadly, my driver's license looked great too. I told my tragic story to the DMV photo lady. She still made me take a new picture. I actually begged for my old picture to a woman I've never met. Of course, this was the DMV she did not change her mind.
I had a gift card to Gymboree which represented guilt-free, matching outfits for two of my daughters. You took that spree! I had just got my Nike running watch fixed. I headed out to go running and track my progress. But wait! You stole that too. My sister gave me great tasting lip gloss that was that perfect color of not too much or too little. So, you know, thanks for the life journey that you gave me.
You must have been trapped to take my purse. Frankly, I can see the lure of using my checkbook to write bogus checks to Maverik. But did you stop to notice the life story in my purse? Let me tell you. I had a passport that finally contained a fabulous picture of me in it. I had to wait ten embarrassing years to stop showing those enormous bangs from the 80s. I actually looked radiant and you took it. It also contained a visa from a once-in-a-lifetime family trip to China. That visa was sentimental to me and is irreplaceable. Sadly, my driver's license looked great too. I told my tragic story to the DMV photo lady. She still made me take a new picture. I actually begged for my old picture to a woman I've never met. Of course, this was the DMV she did not change her mind.
I had a gift card to Gymboree which represented guilt-free, matching outfits for two of my daughters. You took that spree! I had just got my Nike running watch fixed. I headed out to go running and track my progress. But wait! You stole that too. My sister gave me great tasting lip gloss that was that perfect color of not too much or too little. So, you know, thanks for the life journey that you gave me.
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