The truth---as I see it

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Some thoughts:
I want to be super thankful and uplifting in blogs, but I sometimes rant and my life is not always uplifting.
I am LDS and I go to church regularly. However, that never seems to cross into my discussions here. I have some reasons. I want to swear sometimes and not be a hypocrite. I might want to mention sex (in a broad sense). Those ideas don't seem to connect. In addition, I find my faith journey to be up and down. I would worry about being a sincere person on this front. I want to be real and not be harmful in the world of LDS bloggers. (Who are we kidding? I swear almost all bloggers are LDS moms.)
I am pretty sure I complain too much. You women who go forth joyfully, I read you and I rejoice with you. Keep it up. Me? I am working on finding the funny.
I don't mention my blogging on facebook. I am afraid of people, who I truly respect (this would include older and much younger people), wondering about what they are reading. Then, I think stop, people have way too much to do to worry about a few power swears or whatnot. Yet, I am not sure I am ready for all I know from all walks of life to read this drivel. Crazy? Yup!
I can't seem to find my niche. I would love to be a super-intelligent cultural/political critic. Yet, I can't seem to stay up to speed to do that all the time. I toyed with never blogging about my kids, so I could push myself to have my own identity. But, those kids keep pulling me back. I even started another private blog that would ONLY contain deep thoughts on politics/religion/culture. So far, I have one post in five months. Well, I at least I have that going for me. In a nutshell, I clearly am a little too self-conscious and hyper-aware. At the end, I like the pleasure of empty space and a few minutes to think with it.

Comments

Carolyn said…
I can say "Amen" to some of this. I have started 2 blogs but have written only 1 entry and never published it. I was working out in my garden today, and thought--again--I really want to write a blog. Somehow gardening gets me thinking about stuff I want to write (not necessarily about gardening). But then I am too chicken. What if I say something that offends someone? What if people from part X in my life are surprised to find out about part Y from my life? What if it is just plain boring? -- You, at least, are brave enough to take the plunge. ... Please keep writing, about whatever.
November 6, 2010 at 10:48 PM
Mary Morris said…
Well, for what it's worth, part of me doubts that those super religious/positive mommy types are always so. They choose to only show their best face. And I suppose that's fine if that's what they want to do. You've chosen to take a more honest approach, which I think can be more interesting.... and as long as you keep indicating a desire to do good in the long run, that's what matters. If someone thinks we should never express doubt or weakness, consider the "psalm of Nephi"--one of the best of us took a moment to express sorrow and weakness....
November 7, 2010 at 6:30 AM
M+J=K3+E said…
I LOVE your blog...the swearing and sex talk :) I love how you keep it real! I wish I could be as honest about things as you are! Keep up what you are doing!!
November 8, 2010 at 7:47 AM
Katydid said…
Not like I'm going to talk dirty here...not exactly. But, there may be times when I am not headed in the right direction and I have some turn around "I don't want to do this!" days which may be last longer than a bad day. I want the space to be for that too. I guess I'm saying I like the space I have and yet not sure what I'm doing with it.
November 8, 2010 at 8:45 AM
Scott-n-Allison said…
I read a comment from an author on her sidebar that said something to the effect of "don't judge me, just come along for the ride." I try and remember that when I'm writing. If someone is lurking and not willing to take me for who I am bad, good, and all, then my blog wasn't really intended to be shared with them in the first place.

My sister says my writing is too rosy and happy...that her life can't keep up. And I don't like the whole "look at how great my life is" writing either...but I am trying to find "joy in the journey" and express that. I think secretly I'm a real glass-half-empty person and this is a way for me to find the bright side.

Blah, blah, blah...I don't even really know where I'm going with this.

xoxoxo to you...hope you're having a GREAT day!
November 10, 2010 at 5:50 PM
Anonymous said…
I adore your blog because it is you, your voice, your thoughts. That being said...I would love to see occasional pictures of your kids and hear about what is going on in their lives. xo
November 11, 2010 at 8:05 PM
Anonymous said…
Oh...one more thought. Who reads a blog they don't like? Seriously.
November 11, 2010 at 8:06 PM
Katydid said…
Since my blog is not private...I don't mention my kids by name or use pictures of them. It is one of those concerns for me. I have toyed with the idea of another private one for kids...haven't done it yet.
November 11, 2010 at 8:23 PM
Julie said…
There have been so many times that I wanted to write about what I really thought. Then came back, with who is reading this and will it hurt me personally or professionally in the future. Then I don't post it. So I basically stopped posting much of anything. But honestly, why can't we be honest. I love my kids, then again they drive me crazy sometimes. I love my husband and for 20 years he gets me hot and bothered. Do I write about that? No, because something personal may slip out. I think about this too Kate. I love reading your blog because you are real and you always have been real. I love that about you.
December 13, 2010 at 8:41 AM
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