Push and Pull!

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I am sitting on hold trying to sort out the typical health insurance problems. As I look at the dishes and my paper strewn desk, it seems my life is a continuous push/pull state. Sometimes, I don't yell at my kids and the house is messy. My house is clean, but I haven't exercised. I find time for a cardio workout, but I'm too tired to floss my teeth. Is that gross? I finally get around to putting on my cremes to stop those little wrinkles from appearing and then I realize I haven't had any decent conversation with my husband that night. I play with my kids and forget to make dinner. My mind is enlarged by reading a great book and I ignore my children that day.
The list continues until I question the pattern of it all. Is this the purpose of life to achieve and fall in seamless motion? If everything did happen perfectly in one day, would I walk around like some Stepford standout? Would I feel happy if it all did happen "just so"? Sadly, I have the misplaced notion that life would be better, wouldn't it? But, as I sit back and reflect, some of these "items" do not fill the soul. I imagine perfection with things that are temporary and unimportant. Just sometimes, I understand the difference between good and best. My human state needs the slow days which lack any sort of perfection. If the push becomes a shove, I want days where I fall down and sit back. The sitting back can be anything from sheer lazy to falling down gosh awful mistakes. It makes me wonder if this is the rhythm of life. (For some must push and some must pull!)

Comments

Blondie said…
Well said.
I have no answers but I often feel exactly the same way!
February 9, 2010 at 3:09 PM
Anonymous said…
Brilliant writing Kate. I love this post.
February 9, 2010 at 5:38 PM
Carolyn said…
I agree with Blondie & Jen. A well-said, brilliant post. You've described perfectly how I have been feeling the past 6 weeks. I had such good intentions about how I would function differently in the new year. Some things have been better than I could have planned, but I turn around to find that I'm drowning in other areas.
February 9, 2010 at 7:34 PM
Scott-n-Allison said…
As for your random thoughts...my friend cut up her wedding dress to make a baptism dress for her daughter. She felt better knowing it had been used for two special occasions.

And I think that if your days were anything but random you'd be bored out of your mind. A little random here and there keeps things balanced.
February 9, 2010 at 8:22 PM
M+J=K3+E said…
Well, well said. Nice to know others feel the same!!
February 10, 2010 at 1:42 PM
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