Hairy, Scary & Weighty Concerns

I fought blogging for a long time because it seemed so strange to stick personal details out in public. But then I found how fun it has been to record stuff that just doesn't belong in more serious memoirs. My weighty concern is a personal grooming curse. I have always been a hairy sort of woman. When I taught Asian students in my outreach programs, they would pet my arms and ask me what was wrong. "Genetic misfortune" or having one's family history be ape, I would explain. The malady has always given me the thought laser would be better than the oodles of supplies I purchase in a vain hope it will stop the undergrowth. Laser treatments seemed so extravagant I would stop myself.

Until now...I have the most unfortunate of pregnancy complications. I cannot stop getting ingrown hairs in my rather large (think ape) bikini area. I speak of grotesque monsters with their own names. (If you want further descriptors, I could email--don't think I will provide photos.) I now have a celebratory combination of pain and disfigurement. I have tried vaseline with a positive attitude. I am considering body glide. In addition, it is summer, so I must swim. Yet, those board shorts will not slip over the offenders much longer. I am concerned about the young children I will scar at the swimming pool. Yet, the thought of a very swollen me sitting in a paper bikini with a laser tech doesn't seem to work either. I think I have learned my lessons of vanity.

My husband helped me with this suggestion: "Well, even though you look small, maybe you have gained weight in your thighs and they are rubbing together." Yeah, sweetie here's all my love right back at you! The answer is really to just sit on the couch read US weekly and eat ice cream. What else should a girl do?