What stand to take?
When I was younger, I loved to dance in my living room. Pretending I was some great ballerina, I would spin and twirl about the house. I always regretted not being able to learn how to do ballet. My daughter started ballet when she was 3. I kept it casual, not wanting to give my desires any pressure. Eventually, she wanted to work harder herself. She had a recital this past week. My eyes have been opened to that world. I now wonder if that is a world where I would have been comfortable.
This studio runs a strict program. I get that, or at least I thought I did. I was a volunteer to help during dress rehearsals. The director could not stop lecturing about hair. She wanted a certain shape of bun, location of bun, use of hair net, certain clips....endless. At least three separate times I saw her pull some girl up and explain to everyone how this girl's hair was not right. She did this with all age groups. I felt it building in my head : ENOUGH WITH THE HAIR! Later, a zipper broke on a girls costume. The director lectured the girl and told they had talked about that zipper before. In between was this dialogue of we are professionals. No, we are young girls trying to discover the joy of performing dance. When the girls were changing, one of them could not find part of a costume. She broke down sobbing; shaking to have to face the director. That was the point where I was finished with this studio. I could not find any sense of "we are learning to dance--to discover the joy of it!"
I talked with another mother who was not sure her daughter would be returning the following year. Then, I was hit with determination of my daughter. "I do not want to learn the techniques of another studio. I am staying here." (We have switched studios twice because of moving and schedules.) I wanted to sit on my soap box and refuse to support this mindset. I don't know what to do with a child old enough to express themselves that way. I would like to walk away, but now I am not sure where I am headed. What do you do when it does not represent your philosophies? Do you let a child stay in an environment that you don't totally support? Do you let them start making those decisions and let that child learn from that experience? When do you protect and when do you let them fly?
This studio runs a strict program. I get that, or at least I thought I did. I was a volunteer to help during dress rehearsals. The director could not stop lecturing about hair. She wanted a certain shape of bun, location of bun, use of hair net, certain clips....endless. At least three separate times I saw her pull some girl up and explain to everyone how this girl's hair was not right. She did this with all age groups. I felt it building in my head : ENOUGH WITH THE HAIR! Later, a zipper broke on a girls costume. The director lectured the girl and told they had talked about that zipper before. In between was this dialogue of we are professionals. No, we are young girls trying to discover the joy of performing dance. When the girls were changing, one of them could not find part of a costume. She broke down sobbing; shaking to have to face the director. That was the point where I was finished with this studio. I could not find any sense of "we are learning to dance--to discover the joy of it!"
I talked with another mother who was not sure her daughter would be returning the following year. Then, I was hit with determination of my daughter. "I do not want to learn the techniques of another studio. I am staying here." (We have switched studios twice because of moving and schedules.) I wanted to sit on my soap box and refuse to support this mindset. I don't know what to do with a child old enough to express themselves that way. I would like to walk away, but now I am not sure where I am headed. What do you do when it does not represent your philosophies? Do you let a child stay in an environment that you don't totally support? Do you let them start making those decisions and let that child learn from that experience? When do you protect and when do you let them fly?
Comments
I would just let Jam know exactly how you feel (sure you've already done that), but support her decision while letting her know she can switch out without a worry if she ever changes her mind.
By the way, I've tried to call you! Will try again.