Not a man nor hippy

I went to an exercise class which involved mats and balance balls.  I learned a few things.  We did all sorts of maneuvers on the ball.  Not only was it hard,  the act of balancing made me giggle.   I felt so released to just concentrate on trying to stay on the ball in the oddest of positions.  What fun!  I laughed out loud during some of the routines.  I wondered what other activities would cause me to laugh out loud. Maybe it isn't so hard to find that inner child.  Heaven knows we (I) could use a good giggle more often.

After the class, I was hurrying to throw some clothes on so I could get my youngest ones.  The instructor popped out of the shower.  She was so chatty.  As she talked about the class and her personal life,  I was a few feet from her.  I looked at my shoes, looked at her eyes, the floor or my bag.  She showed no sign of discomfort or hurry.   This woman was middle-aged and obviously comfortable with herself.  Anytime I think I might be ready for some earthy sisterhood, I know I am not. I am NEVER going to chat with lady friends naked. I'm never going to hike or run naked.  It seems beautiful/natural I just can't do it.  I am not that man who walks around the showers with his towel on a shoulder.  I ran to the bathroom in junior high and I still will try to disappear in a corner if given the chance.  I am comfortable in my own skin as long as it is covered.   So for now, I don't think I am ready for communal showers or farms.