I think I can't, I think I can't
I experienced a frustrating day with my toddler a few days ago. Time outs, choices and feeble attempts at humor did not convince her to dress. Instead, fear and brute force won the day. As I agonized and guilted over my decision as I gave the play-by-play to my sister, she asked me if I tried being fun. I have been a mom for a while. This is one area I cannot do. I am careful to be educational, act firm, be loving and hard-working, not call names or yell, but dammit do I have to be fun?!!! This is a too painful reminder of my many years of teaching high school. I could use every strategy I knew, reward systems, group learning, investigations, projects and so forth but gosh darn-it I wasn't fun. The former yahooo basketball coach could do the same crap day- in -day- out with a dose of insulting humor/fun; he was still considered a cool teacher.
The sad thing is, I didn't know I would be an unfun grown-up. I thought I would be fun and silly. But I don't think I am. I seem to be fonder of rules and lectures. Instead, I sometimes take delight in giving consequences to kids. When they make crap choices, I get to chant my mantra, "It sucks to be you." Well, that IS kind of fun. Just not the fun I imagined at 15.
Comments
I think you are fun!! Don't worry, I have tried very hard to be the fun aunt. Last family funeral I volunteered to give everyone a break and take nieces/nephews to Wendy's for lunch. How hard could that be? It was almost disaster of epic proportions. Getting kids to stand in very long line to order was nightmare. Herd them to table only to have everyone complain they do not have what they want (guys that's why I wanted you in line with me!!). Now desperate I shove to the front of the very long line and interupt server for (frosty, correct dipping sauces, etc). People in line are very angry at me and at same time I realize one child escaped and is outside in a fountain. It just got better from there. I returned to my parents house two hours later with very frayed nerves realizing I forgot to pick up food for everyone at home. So much for being the cool aunt.
Marni
Marni Ambrose
scary isn't it? I had the same realization about a month ago when my sis was here to visit and she walzed in and had my two year old laughing hysterically and dressed in record time, I thought, "dang, why do I do the fight thing? I could be fun too." But generally I'm not and that sucks! For me and my kids... I avow to be better, how about you?