I think I can't, I think I can't

-
I experienced a frustrating day with my toddler a few days ago. Time outs, choices and feeble attempts at humor did not convince her to dress. Instead, fear and brute force won the day.  As I agonized and guilted over my decision as I gave the play-by-play to my sister, she asked me if I tried being fun. I have been a mom for a while.  This is one area I cannot do.  I am careful to be educational, act firm, be loving and hard-working, not call names or yell, but dammit do I have to be fun?!!!  This is a too painful reminder of my many years of teaching high school.  I could use every strategy I knew, reward systems, group learning, investigations, projects and so forth but gosh darn-it I wasn't fun.  The former yahooo basketball coach could do the same crap day- in -day- out with a dose of insulting humor/fun; he was still considered a cool teacher.

The sad thing is, I didn't know I would be an unfun grown-up. I thought I would be fun and silly. But I don't think I am.  I seem to be fonder of rules and lectures. Instead, I sometimes  take delight in giving consequences to kids.  When they make crap choices, I get to chant my mantra, "It sucks to be you."  Well, that IS kind of fun.  Just not the fun I imagined at 15.  

Comments

M+J=K3+E said…
That is my kind of fun too Kate. Don't worry I just spent an hour in Walmart with kids disbehaving so they didn't get a treat. All I kept saying was "It was your choice, not mine." Ahh, the joys of motherhood. Good times, good times!
April 27, 2009 at 5:00 PM
Scott-n-Allison said…
Fun is where Dad comes in. He's so good with playing and joking and getting down at their level. I justify my un-fun-ness by reasoning that someone has to be the logical, practical, mature one in the family. Rules and structure make me happy...but you're right that it's not quite what I'd imagined.
April 27, 2009 at 8:47 PM
mindy said…
I think all that matters is that we try to see the fun in every situation. You will always be fun Kate. I always tell my kids that it's time for some mandatory family fun. So I guess fun is what you make of it:)
April 28, 2009 at 12:20 PM
Anonymous said…
Jen,

I think you are fun!! Don't worry, I have tried very hard to be the fun aunt. Last family funeral I volunteered to give everyone a break and take nieces/nephews to Wendy's for lunch. How hard could that be? It was almost disaster of epic proportions. Getting kids to stand in very long line to order was nightmare. Herd them to table only to have everyone complain they do not have what they want (guys that's why I wanted you in line with me!!). Now desperate I shove to the front of the very long line and interupt server for (frosty, correct dipping sauces, etc). People in line are very angry at me and at same time I realize one child escaped and is outside in a fountain. It just got better from there. I returned to my parents house two hours later with very frayed nerves realizing I forgot to pick up food for everyone at home. So much for being the cool aunt.

Marni
April 28, 2009 at 2:44 PM
Anonymous said…
I meant Kate not Jen! Sorry.

Marni Ambrose
April 28, 2009 at 2:45 PM
Katydid said…
It's okay. Jen is one of my favorite people...love you Marni.
April 28, 2009 at 3:48 PM
Quinn said…
Hi Kate,
scary isn't it? I had the same realization about a month ago when my sis was here to visit and she walzed in and had my two year old laughing hysterically and dressed in record time, I thought, "dang, why do I do the fight thing? I could be fun too." But generally I'm not and that sucks! For me and my kids... I avow to be better, how about you?
April 30, 2009 at 4:28 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Try it

-
Image
I suffer from mild depression in the winter.  Just when I think I am going to not make it, a sunny day will give me a boost for a couple weeks.  So, as the winter and dark days approach, I realize the shadows are starting to creep into my psyche.  I become more anxious and less tolerant of failings in myself/others.  Today was a brilliant blue sky with bright sunshine.  I ran through the leaves with their crisp sound.  They had that "fall leaf"  smell that is a mix of musty-clean.  (I know that doesn't make sense.)  I lifted my head up to the sky and tried to absorb the light with its wonderful life.   If you are thinking ugg my life is hard lately, "I can't do this", my job sucks, I think I am going crazy...(or is that me ?) , go outside, run through the leaves, absorb light and breathe.  Go outside during lunch, go out during Saturday, take the kids on a walk, whatever.  It helps me to remember that light is there. Well, eventually the light comes. What do...
Read more

Destruction and Camping

-
Image
We have been doing a much bigger remodel than even I thought. Our basement basically sits on steel poles as we re-do the foundation. I have really enjoyed the dirt pile/ramp for the whole summer. We even killed a rat. The kids have enjoyed king of the mountain. Not only did we want to dig the back, I really wanted to tear the front lawn out, shut down the street, sidewalk and dig out the sewer. I wouldn't call it project creep. It is more like project run-away. Old houses have to LOVE them. One morning I knew it was running away from me when we had at least four trucks in the FRONT of our house. Helpful to remember that ,originally, we were just doing the back. We went backpacking just to say we could. The kids "hiked" in a mile. But, they did carry their belongings. It was amazing how heavy packs were even for just an overnight hike. It was beautiful and full of mosquitoes. You could drink them while walking! My little girl did not connec...
Read more

Bonfire of Vanity

-
Last year, as 39 crept into the door, I purchased an internet deal on facials. No big deal. I was feeling the quiet tickle of old-age on my face. Chemical peels seemed to be the answer. One year later and I had finally got around to redeeming the specials. I hate wasting money more than age spots. Having done this before, I was looking forward to a dark room and pleasant smelling stuff on my face. At the time, it did not concern me that I had a different esthetician. Sure, it burned a little more. It was probably working. During the weekend my face went from red like a sunburn to "who drug your face behind a skateboard?" I hunkered at home like a pimply thirteen-year-old. That Sunday, I was in charge of getting the children to sing loudly for Father's Day. No sweat, they always sing so cheerfully for me. In addition, I knew my local gathering of church goers was going to realize I was pregnant. (Yeah, did I mention I was pregnant?) This perfect storm of s...
Read more