Hoop skirts and hopeful thoughts

It seems I don't grow much wiser with age. I used to hope for it. Now,  I am amused at the slowness of my human learning.  I just enjoyed the delights of a lovely BBC miniseries--North & South.  It has all of the charm we ladies love: complicated love, men loving woman who refuse them, passionate declarations, costumes, compelling musical scores and of course... kissing while holding the woman's face. Yes, I rewatched some scenes on you tube.  I found it very romantic.  I don't know what it is about wide skirts and accents that gets me every time.   But, I also paused to think on my own relationship.  

I am swooning over these scenes and maybe neglecting my own personal ones.  I have a sweet, dedicated husband who I can kiss all the time.  He has a deep, romantic baritone voice, plays the guitar, has a deep laugh, is kind, thoughtful, intelligent and hard working.  Yet, I have probably seen the kissing scene from this BBC actor a few extra-times.  What is it about women (me) that we seek outside of what we (I) have and forget what is present?  I may be exaggerating my thoughts here.  But, I think I am unappreciative of the goodness in my life.  Is it the old human foil of lacking satisfaction?  Cue the Stones here.  I definitely could do a better job of making romance in my life.  It makes me think about all of those seemingly small decisions/actions we make in our relationships.  In fact, I could work on my family/siblings/spouse connections. Am I building or just walking?  What is my part in creating something lasting and beautiful?  Really, that first orgasmic kiss (yes it seems like that sometimes) is just the start of building and learning. I have found romance in the journey so far.  I just think I need to do a much better job of being here/now and doing MY part.