Shake the Disease

I have been gone for a while. I was gone trying to live an alternative lifestyle. I live in a community where all of the homes seem to be clean and well decorated. The women are cute and crafts abound. So, I attempted to really clean my house for a week. I had guests coming and a desire to feel more together. Oh, I scrubbed, wiped, mopped, dusted, vacuumed and worked. I was so tired! I felt like all I did was battle every day. In this city, it seems as if many of the women have the just right house, hair, clothes and kids with perfect hair. I just get worn-out from it. I am not that girl. I will probably never find the time/desire to paint my house all cute. I will probably still have to fight the urge to kick it in my sweats. I don't think I am ever going to have each room with a theme or produce items which hang on my walls and declare my life beliefs. I don't really like crafts. I don't do my hair and I prefer my kids to dress themselves. This obviously produces a mix of plaids, patterns, dots and stripes. And I don't do this to make a statement. No, let's face it, I'm lazy!!! However, when I see the homes or kids in all of their splendor, I whisper under my breath, maybe I can do this. It all looks so put-together. It all looks so shiny and spiffy. This place makes feel like I don't quite fit in the package. But, I do like looking at it. I just can't do it myself. It makes me feel as if the package is never going to fit me. Sometimes I feel like doing a mini-rebellion; but what would that look like?