Running Red Momma

I have been cleaning while listening to a cd about babies. The author explains how his wife never looked as beautiful as she did while giving birth. As Mother's Day was here, I thought I would be obtuse and ask my husband if he held the same sentiment. Really, why do we do this? "Does this make me look fat? How do these pants make me look?" Or, the best, "Do you like this haircut?" So, I pushed and pulled wondering how my husband perceived this day. " Maybe husbands need to see their wives looking different to look beautiful. I always find you radiant," he said. And on it went, until in a nutshell, it really was more like "you looked like hell and totally relieved to have that baby out of there." I realize I was stupid for placing my husband in one of those dammed if you do and dammed if you don't scenarios. I just wanted the truth. I got it. We laughed at how ridiculous I was--yet I think I was definitely looking for the lie. I...

We decided to combine fun these last few weeks by having my husband work 70 plus hours and installing wood floors. This lovely combination has left me alone with the kids, eating out of my car and driving aimlessly.  Although I got kisses in the dark when I was half-asleep, we still weren't seeing that much of each other.  I felt a little sorry for myself and grouchy.   I have always been one for crazy dreams.  So, these lonely days created a genuine nightmare for me.  For some unknown reason, my husband was talking to me in a dream...don't know if I was married or engaged, anyway, he said it wasn't working out.  I tried to convince him otherwise.  I asked,  "who else would laugh with me, who would sit back and see the things I see, who would stick with me through everything, who would be my best friend?" I woke-up sobbing.  Fortunately, my husband was still there and I was so shaken that I sat in his arms and wept until I calmed down.   I was so strongly reminded...